12:00pm

Sat April 9, 2011
Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

Panel Round Two

Transcript

CARL KASELL, host:

From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Roxanne Roberts and Peter Grosz. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, host:

Thank you, Carl.

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Thank you guys. In just a minute, Carl insists NPR stands for National Public Rhymeo in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Peter, Donald Trump, reality show star and doucheillionaire, is considering a run for president. Recently, he's been saying that President Obama has never released his, quote, "real birth certificate." And to show how easy it is, Trump released his own birth certificate to the press. One little problem, though, what?

Mr. PETER GROSZ: (Alum, Second City): It wasn't his real birth certificate.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: Donald Trump said, quote, "it's inconceivable that after four years of questioning, the president still hasn't produced his birth certificate. It took me one hour to get my birth certificate," unquote. Well it turns out, it took him one hour to get an unofficial certificate that sort of looks like a birth certificate. It had a seal and it looked official, but upon closer inspection it said Trump may already have won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. ROXANNE ROBERTS (Columnist, Reliable Source): It would be the best White House ever.

Mr. TOM BODETT (Humorist): He would never leave the White House briefing room. You know, like Obama kind of never goes in there. Like, you thought Clinton liked talking to the press, Trump would be like, "come here. Come here, I'm going to show you, look what I did to the Oval Office. Look at this chair. It's incredible."

Ms. ROBERTS: Real gold. Real gold.

Mr. BODETT: Real gold.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: This chair is made of former presidents, you know.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: I dug up William Henry Harrison.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Tom, when Sarah and George Bentley were children, their parents split up and George went with the father, Sarah with the mother and over the years they lost track of each other. So how did they reconnect?

Mr. BODETT: How did they meet up, George and Sarah Bentley? They got married.

SAGAL: No, it didn't go that far.

Mr. BODETT: It didn't go that far. They met on an online dating site.

SAGAL: They did.

(Soundbite of bell)

SAGAL: George and Sarah met via an online dating site and began exchanging texts and emails. They really hit off. They had so much in common.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: So they decided to meet in some romantic spot. He was like, "you grew up in Scotland, me too. You remind me so much of my mom. You have her eyes and you have her mouth, and oh my God, you have 50 percent of her DNA."

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: The two are glad to have reunited and plan to get to know each other as family as soon as they can both stop compulsively showering.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Ms. ROBERTS: Do we know how far they got?

SAGAL: It did not go very far.

Ms. ROBERTS: Oh, this is good.

SAGAL: They were at the date. I mean they had been sort of flirting with each other online, so they felt very sort of skeeved out about the whole thing.

Ms. ROBERTS: They figured this out on the first date?

SAGAL: They did. They figured it out on the first date.

Mr. BODETT: There's got to be like just a general filter question of like just really basically off the top, are you related to me, you know.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. BODETT: It could be a general question. Do you have any missing siblings?

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of music) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright National Public Radio.