Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on May 21, 2011 12:50 pm
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PETER SAGAL, Host:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL, Host:

We have a tie for first place, Peter. Charlie Pierce and Paula Poundstone, they both have three points. Roxanne Roberts has two.

SAGAL: All right, Roxanne, you are in third place, as surprising as that may be. You're up first.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The clock, Roxanne, will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. With Osama bin Laden out of the picture, Egyptian terrorist Saif al- Adel has been named as the interim head of blank.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Al Qaeda.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, federal meteorologists predicted that this year up to ten blanks would form in the Atlantic.

ROBERTS: Hurricanes.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After the US hit the 14.29 trillion dollar limit, the White House increased pressure on Congress to raise the blank.

ROBERTS: Debt ceiling.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: CBS announced that it was replacing "Two and a Half Men" star Charlie Sheen with actor blank.

ROBERTS: Ashton Kutcher.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Even though he'd bought two tickets, a Welsh man was barred from getting on his commuter train this week with blank.

ROBERTS: Oh, with is pony.

SAGAL: His pony, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The New York Times and AP reported that the head of NBC Sports, blank, has resigned this week.

ROBERTS: Dick Ebersol.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After 23 years, Fox announced it was cancelling that criminal seeking TV show blank.

ROBERTS: "America's Most Wanted."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In addition to guidelines for dealing with outbreaks of things like swine and bird flu, this week the CDC posted guidelines for dealing with blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROBERTS: Diaper rash.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The CDC posted guidelines for dealing with the Zombie Apocalypse.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Is that before or after the Rapture.

SAGAL: I'm not sure. The Centers for Disease Control's guide is called "Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse," with the slogan "Get A Kit, Make A Plan, Be Prepared." They stress the importance of planning, "where you would go if zombies started appearing outside your door step." It's nice to know the CDC has a sense of humor. It's troubling that they also posted a guide for Zombies warning that if you eat a brain rare or medium rare, you do so at your own risk.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?

KASELL: Roxanne had a great round, Peter, seven correct answers, for fourteen more points. She now has sixteen points and Roxanne has the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go last. Charlie, you are up next. Fill in the blank. In a speech at the State Department on Thursday, President Obama called on blank to return to its 1967 borders.

CHARLIE PIERCE: Israel.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: From his New York jail cell, Dominique Strauss Kahn resigned his post as the head of the blank.

PIERCE: IMF.

SAGAL: Right, International Monetary Fund.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: While her husband was off commanding the Space Shuttle, blank successfully underwent surgery this week.

PIERCE: Gabrielle Giffords.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Joe Biden was among those in attendance as Rahm Emmanuel was inaugurated as the new mayor of blank.

PIERCE: Emperor - I'm sorry, mayor of Chicago.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Official Chinese media reports are warning consumers to beware of a new food safety threat, blank.

PIERCE: Cheese.

SAGAL: Exploding watermelons.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: After hosting the muscular dystrophy telethon for 45 years, comedian blank announced he was retiring.

PIERCE: Jerry Lewis.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On the Forbes List of the most powerful celebrities, Lady Gaga beat out blank, who slipped to second place.

PIERCE: Oprah.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For men who hate taking the time to put on both jeans and underwear, a clothing manufacturer in Japan has come up with a new product they're calling blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PIERCE: Commando jeans.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Junderpants.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes, they're blue jean style underpants. Basically the lovechild of a pair jeans and tighty whities. And they make the wearers look like they're wearing an extremely uncomfortable pair of Daisy Dukes.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Charlie do on our quiz?

KASELL: Well Charlie had six correct answers, for twelve more points. He now has fifteen points, but Roxanne still has the lead with sixteen.

SAGAL: All right, how many then does Paula need to win?

KASELL: Seven correct answers.

SAGAL: Here we go, Paula, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, Al Qaeda released a posthumous audio recording from blank.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Osama bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Security forces said Wednesday that the wife and daughter of Libyan leader blank had fled to Tunisia.

POUNDSTONE: Gadhafi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The FBI is investigating whether Unabomber Ted Kaczynski was responsible for poisoning Chicago area blank capsules in 1982.

POUNDSTONE: Tylenol.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The father-in-law of French first lady Carla Bruni revealed in an interview this week that she is blank.

POUNDSTONE: Pregnant.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Chicago man was charged with possession of a dangerous animal for owning an alligator that he used to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Rob banks.

SAGAL: Impress girls.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: EBay buyers bid tens of thousands of dollars for the blank Princess Beatrice wore at the Royal Wedding.

POUNDSTONE: For the hat.

SAGAL: Yes, the big strange loopy one.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a Florida bank robber yelled out "put the money in the bag," he was forced to leave without any money when it was revealed that blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

POUNDSTONE: I don't know. The bag was the only thing he had on.

SAGAL: Nope. He had forgotten the bag.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Joseph Alan Price thought he had everything he needed for his bank robbery. He had a holdup note all written out, and he had his getaway bicycle chained up outside. It turns out - his bicycle, yes. It turns out, he'd forgotten the most important thing though, the bag. You know, with the dollar sign on it. When no one else in the bank had a bag to give him, Price gave up on his heist and pedaled away, only to be apprehended by police a few minutes later.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Paula do well enough to win?

KASELL: Well, she needed seven correct answers, but Paula had just five correct answers. So with sixteen points...

POUNDSTONE: There it is.

KASELL: Roxanne Roberts is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Happened again.

SAGAL: Well done, Roxanne. In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict how Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child will make his mark on the world. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.